I Need My Brother

Original is “I Need a Doctor” by Eminem + Dr. Dre. Request for Dave -> Bro. This is probably terrible because rap lyrics are really difficult for me to parody.

[Dave]

[Chorus]

I’m about to lose my mind
You were not meant to die, you were there all the time
I need my brother, give me my brother
I need my brother, brother, so bring him back to life

I told my bro one day I would pay him back
Say it on tape, and lay it, record it so that one day I could play it back
But I don’t even know I could achieve it now I’m sayin’ that
Death startin’ to creep in, every day it’s just so grey and black
Time, I just need to take it back, cause no one wants this present
If I change it for him, it’ll start to crack, and I don’t want to doom it
And I don’t know if we will fight or survive if I do it
To go through it, you’d come to me and tell me that I blew it
You raised me up, breathed new life in me, I owe my life to you
But for the life of me, I don’t see why you treat me like you do
But it just dawned on me you were alone, raising baby boo, it’s hard
Let me turn back the clock to restart this and impart to you
I don’t think you realized what you meant to me, not the slightest clue
Cause me and you were like a crew, I was like your sidekick
You would either wanna fight me when I got off this fuckin’ mic
Or you would hug me, but it doesn’t matter, there’s nothin’ left you can do and

[Chorus]

It hurts when I see the puppets, they smother me with remorse
You said that I’d love it, that I’d love it, but oh well a course that’s crazy
But the memory’s gettin’ hazy and I don’t recall at all no more
Why I’d turn to hate it, not embrace the form
Now I’ll never say it never purvey it to stars
I won’t obey it when my heart is saying spray it on the scars
Like I’m the artist, you’re supposed to fuckin’ be my mentor
I can endure no more I demand you give me back who you were
It was YOU, who would strife me when everyone was running
For the gun and, not anyone had a fuckin’ saber, let’s tell the truth
You raised a katana to me, I know it as well as you
Nobody wanted to spar with a master, Bro, but it’s all I can do
You raised me so, and raised the shades the same as  you have
Now I can never repay you, what you did for me is all that
And now I can’t believe it, would you believe it had to be
Get up Bro, I believe it! The you who would believe in me cause

[Chorus extended]

[Just end it here. The Dr. Dre part is kinda tough and idk it doesn’t fit too well with this. Cause either Dave could sing it or Bro from beyond the grave and it just didn’t work out. I think ending the parody here is best.]

Ocean of Dave

Original is “Castle of Glass” by Linkin Park. Davesprite song. (I think it’s the first I’ve ever done for him?)


Take me back like a month or five
Take me back to when they’re alive
Stop the puppet from going in
Can this ever be home again?

Merge me up with an orange soul
Heed the crow but ignore the troll
Level up with the future stuff
And never skip to the gate above

‘Cause I’m only a wave
In this ocean of Dave
Hardly anything worth
Your time at all
Your time at all

Rock the game as the gods you are
Leave me here as you’re going far
Wash the yellow from off my skin
This will never be home again

‘Cause I’m only a wave
In this ocean of Dave
Hardly anything worth
Your time at all
Your time at all

‘Cause I’m only a wave
In this ocean of Dave
Hardly anyone else
Will care at all

‘Cause I’m only a wave
In this ocean of Dave
Hardly anything worth
Your time at all
Your time at all
Your time at all

No Good Witch

Original is “No Good Deed” from Wicked. There was a request for Vriska or Jade and I chose Jade so that it could play off of Tamara’s “No Good Seer" for Rose. The grimdark noises are from her parody.

Dave!
Gorith a-Bark! a-Bark! gohluyng gohluyng frobithh BARK!
Gorith a-Bark! a-Bark! gohluyng gohluyng frobithh BARK!

Let their flesh not be torn
Let my fangs not be stained
As I fight them
Please don’t bring them pain
Let their bones never break
And however I try
To destroy them
Let them never die:
Let them never die:

Gorith a-Bark! a-Bark! gohluyng gohluyng frobithh BARK!
Gorith a-Bark! a-Bark! gohluyng gohluyng frobithh- frobithh

BARK

To hell with this barking!
Why can’t I control what I’m doing?
Why can’t I control what thoughts I thought I’d think?
When terror is looming,
What is it I am pursuing?
Fell to disaster, I can’t even blink
Falling from… the brink!

No good witch plays a puppet
No dog tier player should be so disloyal
No good witch plays a puppet
I’m not your glitch
My path is led by royals,
Led by one who’s always a bitch
No good witch
Plays the puppet!

Karkat…
Oh John and Rose…
Dave…
DAVE!!

This voice it barks and burns
Too loud, too loud to heed it:
Could I be a source of good?
And would they even need it?
What more can heroes need
Then villains that they need to fight?
If that’s what heroes need
Maybe that’s the reason why

No good witch plays a puppet
All grimdark urges will be fought with vigor
No good witch plays a puppet
You know I’m big -
Well, now I’m getting bigger!

So hear me now, I’ll fight it
I’ll fight it, then:
Let the Condesce feel the switch
A hero through and through
I will not be bewitched
Condesce falling to you
I promise no good witch
Will ever fall to you again
Never again
No good witch
Falls to you again!

Die and Rise

Original is “Hide and Seek”. Rose request.

Where are we?
What the hell is going on?
The night it only might
Begin to fall
To monsters in the darkness
Sighing… Crying…

Wake us up again
Upon the moon
This fate will wait for me
With felt-lined homes a mess with someone
Who’d stop to tell
Their lies… to me

Die and rise
Bombs and all-seeing eyes
All my dreams
They must seem fake

Dersite twins, our role begins
Where happy comfort hung before
The suicide,
The sweeping insensitivity of this mission

Die and rise
Bombs and all-seeing eyes
(oh, I don’t have to be joined here)
Hopes and dreams (love)
They must seem fake

Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmm that you only mean well?
Well that’s obvious
Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmmm that you think this is best?
Of course it is
Mmmm whatcha say?
Mmmm that I won’t die alone?
I decided this
Whatcha say?
Mmmm what did you say?

Dear regards keep falling out your mouth
Pure sweet talk, but you won’t make it out
Speak no further no you won’t be murdered
You don’t have to die
You don’t have to die

(Die and rise)
Dear regards keep falling out your mouth
Pure sweet talk, but you won’t make it out

(Die and rise)
Speak no further no you won’t be murdered
You don’t have to die
You don’t have to (you don’t have to) die

(Die and rise)
Oh no, you don’t have to die
Oh no, you don’t have to die

(Die and rise)
Oh no, you don’t have to die
You don’t  have to die
You don’t have to die

Needles

Original is “Wires” by the Neighbourhood. Request for a Rose song. I’ve never heard this song before but I like it because for some reason it just feels sounds very homestuck.

We rapped about making it.
I’m sorry that we never made it.
And it pains me just to hear you have to say it.
We had the game and played it,
It kills to know we never had the chances,
To see the needle pulling out the answers.
It’s not reviving Jaspers,
It kills us like the cancers,
I can see Death in the clouds like a dancer…
A necromancer.
Doctor Cue and Ball, was the reign and the fall,
Of everyone who had to risk it all

[chorus:]
If I said help me tear the world apart,
You’d say I was poor of heart.
Sick of planning every part,
My needles make a work of art
All the schemes I try to start, go
Straight to hell,
Straight to hell. (ooo, oooo)
Straight to hell,
Straight to hell. (ooo, oooo)

You told me I should look for her,
But that it wasn’t in my error,
The needles getting sharper I can alchemize the terror,
As I cry for her,
Well, you can see it in the end,
That all I ever needed was a friend,
But now I will de, scend,
And break up all the little men,
Who never let me make my last amends,
Don’t tell me to bend,
Think that I should give up the offensive.
Well, I can ram the needles in!

[chorus]

I’m feeling tremors in my heaving,
Now I just started seeing,
Light for us is weaving in the distance,
As I wake up from my dreaming,
When I talk I know the way,
Every word I ought to say,
But don’t drop the needles, stay ready…

[chorus]

Some Times

Original is “Some Nights” by Fun. I still think this could have been like one single character but okay if you want to cover this you can do it as any single one of the beta kids or any combination of the beta kids. Which was harder to write but oh well.

And for those that like to say Sburb as es-burb, know that here it’s treated as one syllable. 

Some times, I serve Sburb, building up a tower
Some times, I’m climbing it up
Some times, I feel that this really gives me power
Some times, I feel I’m just so stuck

But I still play on, I still reach the sky
Though friends, I’m still not sure why I even try
Why do I bother? Why do I bother?
This time, why’d I try? I don’t know…
Oh whoa, oh whoa, oh oh
Oh whoa, oh whoa, oh whoa oh oh

This is it, friends, it’s the end -
Why don’t we try again?

Why don’t we break the game already?
I was never one to sit back and die -
Save that for the doom-ed times

I’ve fought twice as hard and I’ve saved your life,
But there it goes again and the dreamers die


But that’s just fine; I find it harder to take in this sight
I’m stained with blood from guardians
oh come on back, come on back, come on back

Oh, come on.. no… no…

Well, some times, I see that I’m at my end
And now I feel alone for a change
And some times, I’m scared I will lose you again
Some times, I’m giving in, I’m giving in…

But I still play on, I still reach the sky
Though friends, I’m still not sure why I even try
Why do I bother? Why do I bother?
This time, why’d I try? (come on)

So this is it? I’m s’posed to die for this?
Wash my hands of life for this?
I miss my guardian for this?

(Come on)

No. When I see stars, when I see, when I see stars,
They aren’t that far

I know that now, they’re what we play for, so play on
So play on. so play on, SO PLAY ON!

Well, say goodbye friends, time to split -
Five minutes in and I’m bored of it

Three years of this, it’s hard and does anybody understand?
I’m stuck right here like I was at home;
But we have a plan and have to go

Who the fuck wants to die alone all fried up by a giant sun?

My heart is facing towards the future
And the hope that we can win

When I took the time to realize…
Oh, I’m going to see
The most amazing things
And then maybe…

Some old friends’ll rise…ahhh…

Oh whoa, oh whoa, oh whoa, oh oh
Oh whoa, oh whoa, oh whoa, oh oh

The other night, you wouldn’t believe
The dream I just had about you and me

I woke alone, but we got to meet
And in the end we’ll beat the mission
And in the end we’ll close the distance… oh…
And in the end we’ll beat the mission
And in the end we’ll close the distance… oh…

Say I’m Yours

Original is “C’est la Mort” by The Civil Wars. This wasn’t a request, but Conny mentioned this song so I looked it up and I really wanted to write a parody for it, so this is for her I guess.

D is for Dave, J is for Jade, B is for Both.

D: Tower stands, a hundred stories tall
D: Hope shines through, and then the tower falls
B: Though we’re gods, we die eventually
B: But don’t die without me

J: Stand our ground, where villains have been met
J: Take the shot, and swallow your regret
B: Saved every time but when it comes to be
B: Don’t die without me

B: Say you care
B: Say I’m yours

B: I am there
B: Forevermore

D(J): Let’s face fate, and do so hand in hand
D: Live our lives, like only godtiers can
B: Living or dead or something in between
B: Tell me you, will take me when you leave
B: Don’t die
J: Please don’t die
B: Don’t die without me

Knight, knight, knight

Original is “Gone, gone, gone” by Phillip Phillips. Anonymous Dave -> Karkat request.

When you think of friends who died
I’ll be here right by your side
We’ll get you through, we’ll get you through
Until you can face your fears
I’ll call, talk, and dry your tears
I’m here for you, I’m here for you

When enemies are back again
And taking on the form of friends
We’ll get you through, we’ll get you through
If we’re sent miles apart
I’m still right there in your heart
I’m here for you, I’m here for you

Knights protect, it’s in the name
So I know you would do the same

And I would do it for you, for you
Karkat, I’m here every time
If it’ll help you sleep at night
Yeah you, for you
You’re a special friend of mine
And you and I are hella tight
And I can be your knight, knight, knight

When you feel you’re forsaken
Like all your friends are taken
I’m not far away, not far away
And if your logs are empty
Not a thing will prevent me
Chatting up all day, find things to say

I can help you through the game
Cause I know you have done the same

So I would do it for you, for you.
Karkat, I’m here every time
If it’ll help you sleep at night
Yeah you, for you
You’re a special friend of mine
And you and I are hella tight
And I can be your knight, knight, knight

You’re my god send
You’re a real good friend
You’re the shoulders that I could cry on
You’re my close bud
You’re my knight of blood
Got a friendship that’s never dying
Like a dream self we shoot off flying
Like a dream self we shoot off flying
Like a dream self we shoot off flying
Like a dream I can never stop flying..

With you, yeah you
Karkat, I’m here every time
If it’ll help you sleep at night
For you, for you
You’re a special friend of mine
And you and I are hella tight
Yeah you, for you
Karkat, I’m here every time
If it’ll help you sleep at night
For you, for you
You’re a special friend of mine
And you and I, yeah we’re hella tight

Like a dream self we shoot off flying
Like a dream self we shoot off flying
Like a dream self we shoot off flying
Like a dream I can never stop flying with you

And I can be your knight, knight, knight
We’re super tight cause we’re the knight, knight, knights

Pesterlogs

Original is “Little Talks” by Of Monsters and Men. A Dave and Rose suicide mission song requested by f33lsposion. If I didn’t label D or R at the beginning of a line, it means it’s sung by both or I couldn’t tell which one should be singing so you can work it out if anyone covers it.

Hey! Hey! Hey!

R: I dont like having to go and have my life be blown
D: Well wake me up I’ll ride along with you
R: You don’t see, you should sleep I’m keeping you away
D: Yeah but Rose this is what I choose to do
R: Oh Dave I could never have you killed
D: Its killing me to see how you’ll fall

Cause though our fate feels desolate
Don’t you count on it
We can change it all


Hey! Hey! Hey!

R: There’s a dark voice whispering I’m destined to die
D: Well tell it that I’ll miss our pesterlogs
R: Soon it will all be over and buried with our past
D: Well maybe we’ll be fine when all is done and I’ll be right and you’ll be wrong
R: These days I feel like I’m wrong most every time
D: I hope that I can help you climb that wall

Cause though our fate feels desolate
Don’t you count on it
We can change it all

Hey!
D: Don’t think I’ll let you die alone
Hey!
D: Your choice is not condoned
Hey!

Though our fate feels desolate
Don’t you count on it
We can change it all

We’re far far far apart
The distance only grows
And in time we’ll be severed too
Though we’re close close close for now 
There’s nothing we can do

D: Just wake me up I’ll fly to see you

R: No sleep sleep sleep for me
R: Please stay away
R: I’ll see you when the game is scratched

Hey!
D: Don’t think I’ll let you die alone
Hey!
D: Your choice is not condoned
Hey!

Though our fate feels desolate
Don’t you count on it
We can change it all

D: Don’t think I’ll let you die alone
Hey!
D: Your choice is not condoned
Hey!

Though our fate feels desolate
Don’t you count on it
We can change it all

Though our fate feels desolate
Don’t you count on it
We can change it all

Though our fate feels desolate
Don’t you count on it
We can change it all

Maybe We’re Gay

Original is “Maybe Someday” by Teen Hearts. A John -> Dave song requested by jakestridork (my 500th follower!)

We are split by the net
But you start the logs that rock up my whole day
And it’s just conversation (small chat)
But it’s still perfect to me

I’ve got this signature bunny
And you wear the ironic shades
And now it’s clear to me I want to see you in person (person)
It’s just what I need

The miles between us are driving me crazy
Dave, did you ever think that maybe I could lie against you
And maybe you could hold me tightly too
I can’t deny I breath you in
Like we’re standing chin to chin
I know the norm is to be straight
But maybe we’re gay (maybe we’re gay)

You wrote me a letter ‘cuz
You sent a gift to lift up my spirits

And since it was my birthday (birthday)
But that’s not the point

So I’ll sit alone in my bedroom
And dream about

So perfect a day where you could come my way
Maybe one day you’ll stay
Until then I guess I’ll just play (just play) this game

The miles between us are driving me crazy
Dave, did you ever think that maybe I could lie against you
And maybe you could hold me tightly too
I can’t deny you every time
Cause I wish you could be mine
I know the norm is to be straight
But maybe 
we’re gay (maybe we’re gay)

And maybe one day you’ll see
That you could be with me
And maybe one day you’ll see (you’ll see)

Maybe I could lie against you
And maybe you could hold me tightly too
I can’t deny I love you so
This is something you should know

I know the norm is to be straight
But maybe we’re gay
Maybe we’re gay
Maybe we’re gay

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