I Belong With Her

This isn’t a homestuck parody I just wanted to write this parody of “You Belong With Me” because of reasons.

I’m on the phone with my girlfriend—she’s upset,
She’s going off about something that I said
'Cause I said some-thing insensitive again.

We’re in the room, it’s a typical Tuesday night.
I’m listening to the kind of music she doesn’t like.
But that doesn’t hinder how I feel for her.

And she wears short skirts
You wear t-shirts
She’s cheer captain
And you’re on the bleachers
I’m praying for the day when you wake up and find
That who you’re longing for has been taken, alright?

If you could see
That she’s the one
Who really loves me.
Been here all along.
She’s who I prefer—
I belong with her,
I belong with her.

Walk in the streets with her and our hearts at ease
I can’t help thinking this is how it ought to be.
Then look at a park bench where you’re by yourself,
Hey! Why do you stalk me?

And I had a smile
That could light up this whole town.
I haven’t worn it in awhile
'Cause you hunt me down.

I say I’m fine— so that you’ll leave me alone
Hey, what you doing, just leave me alone!

She wears high heels,
You wear sneakers.
She’s cheer captain,
And you’re on the bleachers.
I’m praying for the day when you wake up and find
That who you’re longing for has been taken, alright?

If you could see
That she’s the one
Who really loves me.
Been here all along.
She’s who I prefer—
I belong with her.

Late at night, you’re hiding by my back door.
All this time how could this shit still occur?
I belong with her,
I belong with her.

[Instrumental]

Oh, I remember I drove up to your house
When you threatened her on sight.
I’m so scared that I could laugh
But you know I’d rather cry.
You’ve read my facebook page,
But I tell you I’m much more.
And I know where I belong,
Yeah I know it’s with her.

Can’t you see
That she’s the one
Who really loves me.
Been here all along.
She’s who I prefer—
I belong with her.

Late at night, you’re hiding by my back door.
All this time how could this shit still occur?
I belong with her,
I belong with her.

I belong with her.

Will you stop it, you saboteur?
I belong with her.

I belong with her.

Does Kanaya Know That You’re Out?

Original is “Does Your Mother Know That You’re Out?” by Abba. A Porrim/Rose song requested by TotalSpiffage (AKA she’ll have it finished in just a matter of hours, xD)


You’re so sly, winking there
You’re so bright
But I won’t do that to Kanaya tonight
No that just wouldn’t be right
In your eyes there’s a flame
I can read in your face that you want to do more in the game
Ah, but Rose your quadrants are claimed

Well I can chat with you, Seer
If you like me here
Does Kanaya know that you’re out?
And I can sew with you Rosy
Get a little cozy
Does Kanaya know that you’re out?

Take it easy (take it easy)
Better slow down, Rose
There’s another glow
Does Kanaya know?
Take it easy (take it easy)
Be the cool kid, Rose
I won’t go that low
Does Kanaya know?

We can’t be black or red
Don’t you know there’s a ton of reasons why we can’t go to bed
Like that I’m already dead
Now you’re so cute, I like your hood
But I know that to her you can make this whole world seem so good
And Rose you know that you should

Well I can chat with you, Seer
If you like me here
Does Kanaya know that you’re out?
And I can sew with you Rosy
Get a little cozy
Does Kanaya know that you’re out?

Take it easy (take it easy)
Better slow down, Rose
There’s another glow
Does Kanaya know?
Take it easy (take it easy)
Be the cool kid, Rose
I won’t go that low
Does Kanaya know?

Well I can chat with you, Seer
If you like me here
Does Kanaya know that you’re out?
And I can sew with you Rosy
Get a little cozy
Does Kanaya know that you’re out?

Without Answers

Original is “Brokenhearted” by Karmin. Cover is sung by Rose to Doc Scratch because it’s one of my guilty pleasures.

I’m serious TotalSpiffage, I like doing requests but I hardly get any so when you post things like this there’s a good chance Imma jump on that.
(I replaced “cheerio” with cue ball and I imagine it being said cue-a-ball like in a weird Britishy way or such so that it’s still three syllables ya’know?)


This is more than a typical kinda game
Saw the lies in your guise when you were telling me, oh oh
There’s so much that I don’t know
In the dark, see a spark, I can hear your name
I’m here waiting, aggravating, I don’t need to sleep, oh no
Waiting for your words to show

Now I’m here in a horrid situation
Got a lot of trouble, yep and now I’m pacin’
Dark slayers, doomed players, it’s my grimmest moment
I’m gonna beat this game, yes I’m on it

Oh oh, what else do I have to know?

See I’ve been waiting, Doc Scratch
For you to pester me back
So let’s talk hope, let’s talk chances
Don’t you leave me without answers tonight
Come on, that’s right
Honest, Doctor, I’ll do
Anything I have to
So can we banish all the cancers
Don’t you leave me without answers tonight
Come on, that’s right, cue ball

You’re the source, set a course
Not a single lie, munching on scotty dogs
Just a waste of time, oh oh
Please just tell me where to go
Oh yeah
Play your charm, more like harm, here’s what I resent
“Uncle”, please, you’re a creep
Don’t need compliments, oh oh
Leave this young lady alone, pedo

See I’ve been waiting, Doc Scratch
For you to pester me back
So let’s talk hope, not romances
Don’t you leave me without answers tonight
Come on, that’s right
Honest, Doctor, I’ll do
Anything I have to
So can we banish all the cancers
Don’t you leave me without answers tonight
Come on, that’s right, cue ball

All the things I’m gonna do, they’re set out by you
Everything you say paves the ways I can choose
Cueball on the top, puppet in the soul
Maybe I was wrong, are you the one in control?

This kinda game doesn’t make a lot of sense
I’m falling to the dark side of it, I’ve been spent
You know I’m sinking so do my thinking, cue ball

See I’ve been waiting, Doc Scratch
For you to pester me back
So let’s talk hope, let’s talk chances
Don’t you leave me without answers tonight, ohhhohohhhoohhhh
Honest, Doctor, I’ll do
Anything I have to
So can we banish all the cancers
Don’t you leave me without answers tonight
Come on, that’s right, cue, cue ball

I may be the seer
Don’t leave me without answers
I’ve been waiting here
Let’s banish all the cancers, oh oh
I can’t seem to make them show
Come on, that’s right, cue ball, uh!

|

carcinogenetalia:

TONIGHT I’M GONNA EXPLAIN JUST 
HOW THIS GOES DOWN
FIGURED IT OUT
JUST READ THIS {i’m not reading that} 
IT LAYS THE BASICS OUT, DAVE {not happening}
YOU STAY YOUR ASS PUT, LISTEN TO ME
OR JUST KILL ME NOW
JUST KILL ME
why? i’m having a good time 
having a good time

i’m a porno star showing off my sack {YOU DISGUST ME}
like a bishie 
snogging with all the troubled teens
i’m an artist dude painting racks 
like leo da vinci
i’m gonna draw draw draw
there’s no stopping me

WE FOUGHT RIGHT OFF THE BAT, FUCK
JUST WHAT DID I DO
THAT’S WHY I HATE YOU FUCKING STRIDER PRAT
YOU KNOW THAT I DON’T MEAN LIKE THAT
I’M GONNA KNOCK SOME BASIC TROLL KNOWLEDGE INTO YOU

JUST KILL ME NOW 
i’m having such a good time
i’m having some fun 
JUST KILL ME NOW
if you wanna have a good time 
just settle your buns
JUST KILL ME NOW 
but we’re having a good time
JUST KILL ME NOW 
no i’m having a good time
i won’t let you off and run

i’m curiousity landing down on mars
met with some aliens
YOU’RE ON AN ASTEROID 
YOU’RE OUT OF YOUR MIND
i’m allegorical using metaphors
like they’re merchandise
filling all all all all all the stores

i’m filling up the sheets, yeah
the mayor agrees
that’s why they call me rapper strider d
i’m handing out the sickest beats
i’m gonna give the super illest lyrics to you

JUST KILL ME JUST KILL ME JUST KILL ME
no no no
JUST KILL ME JUST KILL ME
ooh ooh ooh you’ll like it
JUST KILL ME JUST KILL ME
i won’t let go, let go
JUST KILL ME JUST KILL ME
ooooh {you drew a dick, yup that was all you}
YOU’RE DRAWING ALL OF THOSE, DAVE
LET GO OF MY HAND
that’s why they call this penis ougi, bro
that eas’ly could have been a ghost
I WANNA STRANGLE ALL THE IRONY OUT OF YOU

JUST KILL ME NOW 
i’m having such a good time
i’m having some fun 
JUST KILL ME NOW
if you wanna have a good time 
just settle your buns
JUST KILL ME NOW 
but we’re having a good time
JUST KILL ME NOW 
no i’m having a good time
i won’t let you off and run

Berry’s lyrics, yet again xD 

Also, warning about the pterodactyl screech about a minute in.

I am so sorry.

I am not a Dave Voice actor for a reason.

CARCINOGENETALIA AKA PERFECT HUMAN BEING

When You’re Dead

Original is “When You’re Strange” by The Doors. Cover is sung by Aradia because Lily wanted something to sing and I figured I’d whip up something quick in case she was interested.

Help’s outta range, when you’re in danger
Outcomes look grim when, you’ve disappeared 
Hallways seem haunted, when you’re unwanted 
Fate is beyond you, when you’re weird

When you’re dead 
Rain doesn’t fall on your head 
When you’re dead 
No one can hear what is said
When you’re dead
When you’re dead 
When you’re dead

There in the window, when you’re a shadow
Outcomes look grim when, he doesn’t see 
Hallways seem haunted, when you’re unwanted 
Love is behind you, when you leave 

When you’re dead 
Rain doesn’t fall on your head 
When you’re dead 
No one can hear what is said
When you’re dead
When you’re dead 
When you’re dead

When you’re dead 
Rain doesn’t fall on your head 
When you’re dead 
No one can hear what is said
When you’re dead
When you’re dead 
When you’re dead

Lifebreaker

Original is “Heartbreaker” by Pat Benatar. Car is back from her break so I wanted to write something simple but funny. I ended up writing JohnDave. *shrugs* Titled it Lifebreaker because this pairing breaks lives. 

By the way, I pronounce LOHAC “low-hawk”. Not sure if that’s the norm or not.

[DAVE]
Your love is like a windy thing
Guiding me to the path
Lifting me with the windy wings
That you don’t even have
You are all that I’ve got here
To release me of my irony
The invincible god tier 
And you know that you were born to be

You’re a death faker, cake maker, corpse waker
Don’t you mess around with me
You’re a death faker, cake maker, corpse waker
Don’t you mess around, no, no, no

[JOHN]
Your love has set my soul on fire
Burning like LOHAC
You brought my prankster gambit higher
Now there’s no time to talk
You are all that I’ve got here 
To change my sexuality
The invincible god tier
And you know that you were born to be

You’re a sword breaker, boon maker, cool faker
Don’t you mess around with me
You’re a sword breaker, boon maker, cool faker
Don’t you mess around, no, no, no

[Both: singing original lyrics]
You’re the right kind of sinner
To release my inner fantasy
The invincible winner
And you know that you were born to be

You’re a heartbreaker, dream maker, love taker
Don’t you mess around with me
You’re a heartbreaker, dream maker, love taker
Don’t you mess around with me

You’re a heartbreaker, dream maker, love taker
Don’t you mess around with me
You’re a heartbreaker, dream maker, love taker
Heartbreaker

Maybe In a New Game

Original is “Maybe” by Ingrid Michaelson. I wanted a Rose song, and totalspiffage provided an excellent one. Oh man, I hope she hasn’t already done a parody of this or is the process or something. Woops.

You don’t have to be the one to say goodbye
But I do, I do, I do
You don’t have to leave here and commit suicide
But I do, I do, oh yes I do

'Cause maybe in a new game 
After the scratch
We will come back reborn
Maybe in a new game
After the scratch
We will come back

Oh, the only method left to choose
Is to renounce all the rules
Maybe after the scratch
We’ll all come back
We’ll all come back anew

I don’t want to die out here all on my own
But I know, I know, I know
If you see me crying then you will not go
And I know you won’t leave me alone

'Cause maybe in a new game 
After the scratch
We will come back reborn
Maybe in a new game
After the scratch
We will come back

Oh, the only method left to choose
Is to renounce all the rules
Maybe after the scratch
We will come back
We will come back

I will miss those who I know are my dear friends
And I know that you are here for comfort when we reach the end
But we’re gonna burn away, oh we’re gonna burn away
Everything was leading to this day

Maybe in a new game 
After the scratch
We will come back
Maybe in a new game
After the scratch
We will come back

Maybe in a new game 
After the scratch
We will come back reborn
Maybe in a new game
After the scratch
We will come back

Oh, the only method left to choose
Is to renounce all the rules
Maybe in a new game 
After the scratch
We will come back reborn
Maybe in a new game
After the scratch
We will come back

Oh, the only method left to choose
Is to renounce all the rules
Maybe we will come back
After the scratch
We will come back anew
You will come back anew
I will come back to you

Clubs Bite (So Do I)

Original is “Love Bites (So do I)” by Halestorm. Homestuck parody is “Clubs Bite (So do I)” for Kanaya. Definitely not my best work, and I need to do more Kanaya stuff cause she’s awesome, but nonetheless here’s my last parody before my two week vacation:

Don’t bother with this auspistice
That orb was my last hope
He has such bitterness 
How was I supposed to cope?
I wavered for a moment
I felt it in my chest
I know if I could live I’d make him regret his treason

That dick just shot my guts out!
Clubs bite, and so do I, so do I
Clubs bite, and so do I, so do I
Clubs bite!

My skin is pale and glowing
I’m coming back around
Her blushing cheeks are showing
I’ll suck the color out
I come to taste the rainbow 
And grab her by the neck
Avenge them in a way that he should regret his treason

That prick can taste my chainsaw!
Clubs bite, and so do I, so do I
Clubs bite, and so do I, so do I, so do I!

I came back to auspiticize,
But something else is on the rise
It messes with mortality by licking all the troll insides
They say one’s blind they say she hangs 
But she just wants to feel my fangs
And now I’ve kicked one in the balls
I catch the shades and watch him fall
I’m not gonna die, arise 
I said “Hey Well Just Fuck That Guy!”
I’ve been breathless without life
But I can join the strife!

Clubs bite, and so do I
Clubs bite, and so do I, so do I
Clubs bite, and so do I, so do I, so do I!
Clubs bite, and so do I, so do I
Clubs bite!
Clubs bite!

Trickster Bard

Original is “Gypsy Bard” from My Little Pony. “Trickster Bard” is a Homestuck parody for Jane and John, but moreso than that I envision them as Trickster Jane and Trickster John. Sort of a creepystuck kind of spin to it, or something. If anyone sings this I hope they make it a little haunting. C:

[JANE]
When you strife with sea witch bakers
There’s a way to overtake her
You’re a trickster girl’s match maker
Gonna fail-ta’ get the guys

[JOHN]
And whichever pan dad bakes in
Know that you can go on pranksin’
We won’t taint the sight he takes in
Hiding with our great disguise

[JANE]
When I was a little heiress,
A terrorist bomb came to my address
It blew me up with the neighborhood
Said, “get back in ‘cause you’re grounded for good”
So I went back to my room
Though Roxy says I am still doomed
Now computers are crashed
And my dad’s pretty thrashed 
But I need to be rash to go on

[JOHN]
When you’re boonbucks are exported
And your loved ones are contorted
Listen to the choral concord
Of my hammer, zillyhoo

[JANE AND JOHN]
'Cause to prank is to be trickster
Take the queen, we’re gonna fix her
So eat up these gummy twisters
Before they start eating you

Why Won’t You Kill Me D::::<

Original is “What Doesn’t Kill You” by Kelly Clarkson. The Homestuck parody is “Why Won’t You Kill Me” sung by Vriska to Tavros. For Anon.

You know my chest feels weary
On the verge of death
I see you getting near me
Oh, Tavros save your breath

You think this is the death of me
Think you’ll have the last kiss
Don’t you know you already missed your chance
Know I have a place to be
Know that you can do this
Page you should do it, hold up your lance

Why won’t you kill me; make me stronger?
I can’t wait much longer
Doesn’t mean I’m going to take control
Why won’t you kill me; make me god tier?
What is it we’ve got here?
Are you just so wimpy
When I’m cold?

Cause when you kill me I’ll be stronger, stronger
You need to be that troll
Why won’t you kill me; make me stronger?
I can’t wait much longer
Doesn’t mean I’m going to take control

You know that I am waiting here and dying slow
They told me I could take your will, I said no

I didn’t think you’d wait so long
What are you waiting for?
You best not leave me, you coward!

Why won’t you kill me; make me stronger?
I can’t wait much longer
Doesn’t mean I’m going to take control
Why won’t you kill me; make me god tier?
What is it we’ve got here?
Are you just so wimpy
When I’m cold?

Cause when you kill me I’ll be stronger, stronger
You need to be that troll
Why won’t you kill me; make me stronger?
I can’t wait much longer
Doesn’t mean I’m going to take control

Now decide if you can leave me breathless
Now decide if you can make me deathless
Now decide if you’ll be on my death list!
You know in the end, the day you left was just my beginning
Still you left…

You couldn’t kill me; make me stronger
Now I’ve got to wonder
Does that mean I should have taken control?
You couldn’t kill me; make me god tier
What is it we’ve got here?
Were you always wimpy
When I’m cold?

Cause when I was killed I was stronger, stronger
You had to be that troll
You couldn’t kill me; make me stronger
Now I’ve got to wonder
Does that mean I should have taken control?

Cause when you kill me I’ll be god tier, god tier
You need to be that troll
You couldn’t kill me; make me god tier
What is it we’ve got here?
Were you just so wimpy when I was cold?

(When I was cold)